Marriage Breakdown & Betrayal
The end of a marriage or long-term relationship—especially one marked by betrayal—can leave you feeling shattered, confused, and alone. Whether you're navigating infidelity, emotional abandonment, or the gradual erosion of trust, it's common to question your worth, your choices, and your future. At Curated Mind Psychology, support is available to help you process the pain, rebuild your sense of self, and begin to heal. You don’t have to make sense of it all on your own.
"Growth happens when we process our pain, seek clarity, and make decisions that honour our values, safeguard our emotional health, and consider the well-being of those we care for"
Information about Marriage Breakdown & Betrayal
If I am experiencing relationship breakdown and betrayal, is it better to get individual or couples therapy?
Whether individual therapy or couples therapy is more suitable depends on your unique situation and needs. If you're facing the aftermath of marriage breakdown or betrayal, both individual and couples therapy can offer valuable support. Individual therapy allows you to process your emotions, heal from trauma, and gain clarity on what you want moving forward. Couples therapy, on the other hand, can help both partners address relationship dynamics, rebuild trust, and work through issues together.
Trauma recovery is not about erasing the past but learning to move forward with strength and self-compassion. Support is available.
Scientific research suggests that emotional dysregulation—an impaired ability to manage emotional states—is at the core of many psychological disorders, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, mood disorders, and interpersonal and complex trauma. Emotional dysregulation is often linked to early interpersonal trauma, where distressing experiences in childhood can sensitise the nervous system, making it harder to regulate emotions later in life.
Trauma affects individuals in different ways. You may experience:
• Persistent feelings of fear, shame, or guilt
• Anxiety, hypervigilance, or difficulty feeling safe
• Emotional numbness or detachment from others
• Self-doubt, low self-worth, or difficulty setting boundaries
• Flashbacks, intrusive memories, or nightmares
• Difficulty getting to sleep, and sleep disturbance.
• Challenges in personal relationships.
How can I tell the difference between an abusive, destructive relationship and general unhappiness within my marriage?
Distinguishing between an abusive, destructive relationship and general unhappiness in marriage can be difficult, but there are key differences to consider. In an abusive relationship, the patterns of behaviour often involve control, manipulation, emotional, verbal, or physical harm. There may be threats, belittling, intimidation, or other actions that make you feel unsafe, powerless, or fearful. Abuse erodes your sense of self-worth and can make you feel trapped or isolated.
Unfaithfulness, emotional neglect, or a partner who consistently demonstrates a lack of care or empathy can also create significant pain in a relationship. While these behaviours may not involve direct abuse, they still contribute to deep emotional harm and can be destructive to the foundation of trust and connection in a marriage. A partner who is emotionally neglectful or unfaithful might dismiss your needs, disregard your feelings, or withdraw affection, making you feel invisible or uncared for.
In contrast, general unhappiness within a marriage often stems from factors like communication breakdowns, unmet emotional needs, or external stressors. These challenges can lead to discontent but typically don’t involve harmful or controlling behaviours.
If you're unsure of what you're experiencing, seeking support from a professional can help you work through your unique situation. A therapist can guide you in exploring your feelings, understanding the dynamics of your relationship, and considering your options in a safe, nonjudgmental space. This process can help you gain clarity on what steps may be best for your emotional and mental wellbeing, as well as provide support as you navigate this difficult time.
Is it possible for a marriage to survive betrayal
Yes, it is possible for a marriage to survive betrayal, but it depends on many factors. Both partners need to be willing to engage in healing, rebuild trust, and work through the pain caused by betrayal. It’s essential to explore the root causes of the betrayal, the emotional impact it’s had on both individuals, and whether both partners are committed to the healing process. Forgiveness, clear communication, and a willingness to change behaviours are all important aspects of rebuilding a relationship after betrayal. However, the process can be long and challenging, and not all couples may be ready or able to rebuild their marriage. I will support you in processing your feelings, understanding the dynamics at play, and deciding what steps are healthiest for you, your partner, and your relationship.
I've been told that, because of my religious beliefs, there's no justification for leaving my partner. How would you respond to that?
This is a very personal and complex question, and I understand that it can feel difficult to navigate. While some people may point to biblical teachings on marriage and divorce, it's important to remember that God’s heart is for healing, restoration, and emotional well-being. Marriage is about more than just faithfulness in a literal sense—it involves emotional connection, respect, trust, and mutual care. If your marriage is unhealthy or emotionally destructive, it’s vital to assess how it’s affecting your mental, emotional, and spiritual health. I can help you process these questions and emotions while respecting your beliefs and values. Ultimately, the decision about what to do in your marriage is yours to make, but you don’t need to face it alone. My goal is to support you in understanding your feelings, healing from hurt, and making empowered decisions about your future, whether that involves working through challenges or choosing a different path for your well-being.
Support is Available
If you’re facing the pain of betrayal or the breakdown of a marriage, please know that support is available. These experiences can be deeply disorienting—shaking your sense of self, safety, and even your spiritual grounding. It's okay to grieve, to question, and to seek help as you navigate this season. Kylie Walls, Psychologist, offers a thoughtful and compassionate space to process what you’ve been through and take steps toward healing and wholeness.