Online Psychologist Australia - Pre-marriage counselling

Pre-marriage Counselling

Preparing for marriage is an opportunity to strengthen your relationship and build a solid foundation for the future. Even with love and shared values, couples can find themselves caught in patterns of miscommunication, emotional disconnection, or unresolved tension. The Gottman Method, along with Schema Therapy for Couples and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), offers practical, research-based tools to improve communication, understand deeper emotional needs, and foster a secure, resilient connection—helping you walk to the alter with greater understanding, empathy, and respect.

Book An Appointment

"A strong marriage begins not with perfection, but with a shared commitment to grow, listen, and love with intention."

Pre-Marriage Counselling

What is the value of seeking counselling before getting married, even if we’re not in crisis?

Pre-marriage counselling isn’t just for couples in distress—it’s about being proactive in strengthening your relationship and preparing for the challenges that can arise over time. Many couples enter marriage with unspoken expectations, different communication styles, or unresolved emotional patterns shaped by their past experiences. Pre-marriage counselling offers a structured and supportive space to explore these areas before they become sources of misunderstanding or conflict.

Using approaches like the Gottman Method, Schema Therapy, and Emotionally Focused Therapy, we explore how you each express love, manage conflict, respond to stress, and connect emotionally. These sessions can deepen your understanding of one another, uncover strengths in your relationship, and identify areas where growth may be needed. This kind of intentional preparation helps couples enter marriage with greater clarity, emotional awareness, and practical tools to navigate the ups and downs ahead.

How do the Gottman Method, Schema Therapy, and Emotionally Focused Therapy work together in pre-marriage counselling?

Each of these therapeutic approaches offers valuable insights and tools, and I draw on elements from all three depending on what will be most helpful for the couple I’m working with. Pre-marriage counselling is not a one-size-fits-all process, so I tailor the approach to suit each couple’s needs, personalities, and relationship dynamics.

The Gottman Method provides practical, research-based strategies for improving communication, managing conflict, and building friendship and emotional intimacy. Many couples find it helpful for learning how to have difficult conversations, stay emotionally connected, and support each other during stress.

Schema Therapy for Couples is useful when past experiences or long-standing emotional patterns are impacting the relationship. For instance, if one partner becomes easily withdrawn or overly anxious during conflict, we might explore whether early emotional needs were unmet and how those patterns are playing out in the current relationship. Understanding these deeper emotional themes can increase self-awareness and compassion between partners.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) focuses on emotional bonding and attachment. I may use EFT techniques to help couples identify and shift out of negative interaction cycles—such as one partner pursuing while the other withdraws—and instead develop more secure, emotionally responsive patterns of connection.

Rather than rigidly following a single framework, I draw on the strengths of each model to support your growth as a couple. This integrated approach allows us to work with both the practical and the emotional layers of your relationship, building a stronger, more secure foundation for your future together.

We get along well now. Won’t talking about issues just stir up problems that don’t exist?

It’s a common concern, but in reality, avoiding deeper conversations can allow unspoken issues to surface later in less helpful ways. Pre-marriage counselling doesn’t create problems—it provides a safe and constructive way to explore your values, expectations, emotional patterns, and conflict styles before they become points of tension.

Think of it like servicing a car before a long journey. Even if things seem to be running smoothly now, taking the time to check under the hood and tune up the relationship increases your chances of a smoother road ahead. You might discover areas where you differ in your views on finances, family, communication, or emotional needs. Discussing these topics now—guided by evidence-based approaches—means you're more likely to address them with clarity and empathy, rather than waiting until stress or misunderstanding escalates.

Will this process help us build long-term resilience in our relationship?

That is definitely the hope. Developing long-term resilience is one of the key goals of pre-marriage counselling. Relationships inevitably encounter stress, change, and periods of emotional distance or conflict. What makes couples strong is not the absence of difficulty, but the ability to navigate those moments in a way that strengthens the bond rather than weakens it.

By learning communication strategies from the Gottman Method, gaining awareness of underlying emotional patterns through Schema Therapy, and building secure attachment with Emotionally Focused Therapy, couples develop a toolkit for facing challenges with unity and understanding. You'll learn how to repair after conflict, tune into each other's emotional needs, and support one another through hard seasons.

Pre-marriage counselling isn’t about predicting every challenge—it’s about preparing you to meet them together, with mutual respect, emotional safety, and a deepening connection that can grow over the years.

Frequently Asked Questions

I usually recommend starting with two initial sessions to explore your relationship strengths, communication patterns, and areas where support might be helpful. From there, we can decide whether a few additional sessions would be useful to address any specific concerns or challenges that arise. For some couples, two or three sessions are enough to feel more confident moving forward; others may benefit from a slightly longer process.
While many pastors offer valuable support grounded in faith and shared values, my approach brings a clinical and psychological perspective to relationships therapy. As a registered psychologist with experience supporting individuals and couples across a range of emotional and relational concerns, I can help you explore deeper patterns, emotional dynamics, and communication habits that may not always surface in standard pre-marriage programs. I also draw on evidence-based therapeutic frameworks to guide the process. It may be ideal to consider participating in both types of preparation before your wedding.
Online counselling works very well and is often more convenient, especially for couples with busy schedules or living in different locations. Sessions are held via secure video platform, and you’ll still receive the same level of care, structure, and support as you would in person. Many couples find that being in a familiar environment helps them feel more relaxed and open in their conversations.
The process begins with joint session as part of a thorough assessment. After that, most sessions are attended together, but there may be situations where individual sessions are recommended.
We’ll cover topics like communication, emotional connection, conflict patterns, values, and expectations about things like finances, family, roles, and intimacy. I also explore any early relationship dynamics or emotional triggers that may influence how you relate to one another. The aim is to strengthen your understanding of each other and equip you with tools to support a healthy, lasting partnership.
Yes, pre-marriage counselling can be especially valuable if there has been infidelity or breaches of trust, whether in your current relationship or in past relationships that may still be affecting trust or emotional safety. These experiences can create ongoing patterns of fear, insecurity, or emotional distance that are important to understand and address before moving into marriage.

In counselling, we create a supportive and non-judgemental space to explore the impact of those experiences—what trust looks like for each of you, how to recognise and respond to emotional triggers, and how to rebuild safety and connection. I draw on evidence-based approaches like Emotionally Focused Therapy, Schema Therapy, and the Gottman Method to help couples navigate the complex emotions that can follow infidelity. The goal isn’t just to ‘move past it,’ but to build a deeper understanding of each other’s needs and establish stronger foundations for the future.

Whether the breach occurred in this relationship or a previous one, working through it together with guidance can bring clarity, healing, and a more secure path forward.
Yes, pre-marriage counselling can be a very helpful space for couples preparing to become a blended family. Joining two households—especially when children are involved—can bring a mix of hope, love, uncertainty, and complexity. It’s common to encounter challenges related to differing parenting styles, loyalty conflicts, discipline, co-parenting with ex-partners, or navigating shifting roles and expectations.

In our sessions, we can explore what each of you is bringing into the new family system—your values, experiences, and concerns—and talk openly about how you’d like your family life to function moving forward. We’ll also consider the emotional needs of the children involved, how to support their adjustment, and how to strengthen your partnership as the foundation for the family unit.

Using tools from Schema Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, and the Gottman Method, we’ll look at how you communicate, make joint decisions, and manage stress or disagreement—all of which become even more important in a blended family setting. The aim is to support you in creating a home environment that feels safe, respectful, and connected for everyone involved.
While I’m a psychologist and do not provide biblical or pastoral counselling, I am able to support you in exploring how your faith influences your relationship, values, and hopes for marriage. I can help you navigate faith-related challenges, reflect on how your beliefs shape your communication and expectations, and work through any spiritual struggles or past hurts in a way that respects your faith background.

My role is to provide psychological support informed by evidence-based approaches, creating a safe, respectful space where your faith can be acknowledged alongside your emotional and relational needs.
Unfortunately, Medicare rebates do not apply to couples therapy, even if one or both individuals have a Mental Health Treatment Plan. However, private health insurance rebates may be available for couples therapy, depending on your level of cover, and your insurer's policies. It's best to check directly with your health fund to confirm what rebates you may be eligible for.

Note that if you are seeking individual therapy, you may be eligible for Medicare rebates under a Mental Health Treatment Plan from your GP. As of 1 July 2025, the Medicare rebate for a 50-minute session is $98.97. Eligibility and referral are at your GP’s discretion.