The BLOG · writing on therapy & GROWTHReflections on therapy, relationships, and the slow work of recovery from abuse and harm.
Articles exploring schema therapy, mental health, trauma recovery, and emotional wellbeing — For people doing the slow work of understanding themselves, their relationships, and the harm they've lived through.
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When Control Is the Trauma: Understanding Coercive Control and Its Psychological Impact
Coercive control is a form of violence that can cause profound psychological harm. This article explores coercive control trauma, explaining how repeated patterns of control erode autonomy, identity, and safety over time. Drawing on research, it examines why coercive control is often missed and how understanding its impact can support recovery.
Ordinary People, Extraordinary Harm
Douglas Kelley’s psychiatric assessments at Nuremberg revealed a confronting truth: the men responsible for atrocity were psychologically ordinary. This article explores obedience, authority, and how harm emerges within systems—not madness.
The Unrelenting Standards Schema: When Good Enough Is Never Good Enough
Do you push yourself relentlessly, struggle to feel satisfied, or find it impossible to rest? The Unrelenting Standards schema may be driving that exhausting pursuit of perfection — discover where it comes from and how schema therapy can help.
Understanding Religious OCD & Scrupulosity: A Closer Look at Scrupulosity and Its Impact
Scrupulosity, or religious OCD, traps Christians in cycles of intrusive thoughts, guilt, and compulsive rituals around faith. This article explains the signs of scrupulosity, its impact on prayer, worship, and spiritual life, and how treatments like CBT and ERP bring healing. With compassionate Christian psychology support, individuals can separate faith from fear, break the cycle of religious OCD, and rediscover peace, freedom, and authentic connection with God.
The Self-Sacrifice Schema: When Giving to Others Comes at the Cost of Yourself
Do you give endlessly to others but struggle to attend to your own needs — or feel guilty when you try? The Self-Sacrifice schema may be driving that pattern — discover where it comes from and how schema therapy can help.
The Social Isolation/Alienation Schema: When You Feel Like You Don't Belong Anywhere
Do you feel like you've never quite belonged, or that there's an invisible wall between you and real connection? The Social Isolation schema may explain that persistent sense of alienation — and schema therapy can help.
One Chance to Listen: What Rachael Denhollander’s Story Teaches Us About Believing Survivors
This article explores why many survivors of abuse remain silent for years and how silence can function as a powerful survival strategy. Using Rachael Denhollander’s experience of speaking out against Larry Nassar, the piece highlights the role of fear, shame, disbelief, and the nervous system’s freeze response in keeping survivors quiet. It also examines betrayal trauma, where abuse is perpetrated by someone trusted or depended upon, making disclosure feel even more dangerous. The article emphasises the profound impact of being believed, the importance of creating safe spaces for disclosure, and how finding one’s voice—when the time is right—can be a meaningful step toward healing and reclaiming agency.
The Importance of Exploring Our Past: Lessons from an Old House
Unresolved trauma is like cracks in the foundation—hidden but damaging over time. This article explores how past experiences, family dynamics, and institutional harm (including spiritual abuse and religious trauma) shape mental health today. Learn why therapy often revisits the past to repair these foundations and build resilience. Refuge Psychology, with Christian psychologist Kylie Walls, offers compassionate support for healing from abuse, trauma, and faith-related challenges.
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