The BLOG · writing on therapy & GROWTHReflections on therapy, relationships, and the slow work of recovery from abuse and harm.
Articles exploring schema therapy, mental health, trauma recovery, and emotional wellbeing — For people doing the slow work of understanding themselves, their relationships, and the harm they've lived through.
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The Insufficient Self-Control/Self-Discipline Schema: When Discomfort Always Wins
Do you struggle to follow through, act on impulse, or find discomfort and frustration almost impossible to tolerate? The Insufficient Self-Control schema may explain that pattern — discover where it comes from and how schema therapy can help.
The Entitlement/Grandiosity Schema: When the Rules Don't Apply to You
Do you feel that ordinary rules and limitations shouldn't apply to you, or find yourself frustrated when others don't recognise your worth? The Entitlement schema may explain that pattern — discover where it comes from and how schema therapy can help.
The Negativity/Pessimism Schema: When You're Always Expecting Things to Go Wrong
Do you find it hard to trust good times, or feel like you're always waiting for something to go wrong? The Negativity/Pessimism schema may be driving that persistent undercurrent of dread — discover where it comes from and how schema therapy can help.
Soft Start-Ups in Relationships: Gottman Relationship Therapy Provides a Key to Better Communication
This article explains how soft start-ups—a concept from Dr. John Gottman’s relationship research—can help couples raise concerns without triggering defensiveness or conflict. By expressing feelings and needs gently rather than with blame or criticism, partners can protect emotional connection and work together more effectively. Using insights from Schema Therapy for Couples, the article also explores the deeper emotional triggers that lead to harsh communication and offers practical strategies, examples, and reflection questions to help build healthier, more connected conversations.
The Vulnerability to Harm or Illness Schema: When Catastrophe Always Feels Just Around the Corner
Do you live with a persistent sense that something terrible is about to happen? The Vulnerability to Harm or Illness schema may explain that constant feeling of dread — discover where it comes from and how schema therapy can help
Allowing Space for Acknowledgement of Honest Mental Health Difficulties in Faith Communities and Churches
Creating emotionally safe faith communities begins with compassionate language and honest support. When churches listen, validate emotional pain, and walk alongside those who suffer, they reflect the heart of grace, mercy, and belonging.
When Choice Isn’t Really Choice: The Reality of Coercion
Coercion can appear in relationships, workplaces, churches, and faith communities through emotional pressure, manipulation, withholding, and spiritual abuse. This article explains the meaning of coercion, coercive control, and subtle threats, showing how they erode autonomy, trust, and wellbeing. Learn how coercion impacts intimacy, family, leadership, and religious settings, and discover strategies to recognise coercive behaviour, break unhealthy patterns, and seek safe, trauma-informed support
Family Estrangement: Grappling with the Pain and Confusion
A exploration of family estrangement, faith, trauma, religious trauma and boundaries — examining when distance becomes necessary and how healing can occur with compassion and discernment.
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