The BLOG · writing on therapy & GROWTHReflections on therapy, relationships, and the slow work of recovery from abuse and harm.
Articles exploring schema therapy, mental health, trauma recovery, and emotional wellbeing — For people doing the slow work of understanding themselves, their relationships, and the harm they've lived through.
featured · most recent
Why It's So Hard to Leave: Understanding Trauma Bonding in Spiritual Abuse
Why do survivors of spiritual abuse so often return to the person who harmed them — and grieve them even after leaving? Psychologist Kylie Walls explains trauma bonding: the powerful attachment that forms through power imbalance and intermittent warmth, and why churches, ministries and religious communities are particularly fertile ground for it. Drawing on the work of Dutton and Painter, Patrick Carnes, and recent Cambridge research, this article explores how the bond is actively built through grooming and sacred authority, why doubt about a leader can feel like doubt about God, and what recovery involves. Written for survivors and those who support them, it makes clear that the pull back is a conditioned response, not a personal failing.
let's get started