The BLOG · writing on therapy & GROWTHReflections on therapy, relationships, and the slow work of recovery from abuse and harm.
Articles exploring schema therapy, mental health, trauma recovery, and emotional wellbeing — For people doing the slow work of understanding themselves, their relationships, and the harm they've lived through.
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Why It's So Hard to Leave: Understanding Trauma Bonding in Spiritual Abuse
Why do survivors of spiritual abuse so often return to the person who harmed them — and grieve them even after leaving? Psychologist Kylie Walls explains trauma bonding: the powerful attachment that forms through power imbalance and intermittent warmth, and why churches, ministries and religious communities are particularly fertile ground for it. Drawing on the work of Dutton and Painter, Patrick Carnes, and recent Cambridge research, this article explores how the bond is actively built through grooming and sacred authority, why doubt about a leader can feel like doubt about God, and what recovery involves. Written for survivors and those who support them, it makes clear that the pull back is a conditioned response, not a personal failing.
The Hidden Harm: Understanding Adult Clergy Sexual Exploitation and the Vulnerabilities of Survivors
Understanding adult clergy sexual exploitation requires insight into spiritual abuse and the psychological dynamics that make victims more vulnerable. This article explores how cognitive dissonance, schema chemistry, and reverence for spiritual leaders can cloud victims' perceptions, making abuse harder to recognize. Highlighting the importance of appropriate vulnerability in relationships and the misuse of pastoral authority, it addresses the spiritual harm victims experience.
What Adult Grooming Is and how it overlaps with Coercive Control
Understand how grooming operates in adult, faith, and professional settings. A faith-sensitive psychologist explains the psychology of grooming across contexts, manipulation, power imbalance, and recovery after spiritual or relational betrayal.
Understanding Adult Clergy Exploitation: Understanding the Patterns of Betrayal and Abuse
Adult clergy sexual exploitation is not an ‘affair’ but a betrayal of trust, power, and spiritual authority. This article explains the stages of grooming in clergy sexual abuse, highlighting patterns of coercive control, manipulation, and boundary violations. Learn how grooming erodes autonomy, the profound psychological and spiritual impact on survivors, and why survivor-centred, trauma-informed responses are essential for healing, justice, and safer faith communities.
When Trust Becomes Vulnerability: Victims of spiritual coercion, exploitation, or grooming
Many people who have been groomed or manipulated in a religious setting ask the same question: was there something about me that made this happen? Written by a psychologist with a special interest in spiritual abuse and adult grooming, this piece explains what grooming and manipulation look like in religious contexts — and why vulnerability is never a personal failing.
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