EVIDENCE-BASED THERAPY COUPLES APPROACHES · EFT, GOTTMAN, SCHEMA

Three Frameworks for couples work — Schema Therapy for Couples, EFT & Gottman

Schema Therapy for Couples works on the long-standing patterns each of you brings into the relationship — the old wounds and protective styles that keep colliding. EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) helps you find your way back to each other emotionally, underneath the arguments. The Gottman Method is the practical counterpart: structured skills and tools, built from forty years of research on what keeps relationships well. Most couples I work with use elements of all three.

Three of the most-researched and clinically powerful couples approaches — used together, matched to what's actually getting in the way between you.

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HOW THEY FIT TOGETHER

Schema Therapy for Couples looks at the history. Each of you arrives in this relationship with patterns — schemas — laid down long before you met. When two sets of schemas collide, the same fight keeps replaying. Schema work helps you both see those patterns, recognise when they're firing, and step out of the loop on purpose.

EFT looks at the emotional bond. Underneath most arguments is a more vulnerable feeling — fear of being too much, too little, unloved, alone — and a familiar dance the two of you have learned to do around it. EFT helps you slow that dance down, name what's actually happening underneath, and reach for each other in a way that finally lands.

Gottman looks at the structure. From decades of observing couples in research labs, the Gottman Method identifies the specific behaviours that predict relationship distress and the specific skills that protect against it — how to raise an issue gently, how to repair after a fight, how to stay connected when life gets busy. Practical, teachable, measurable.

Three lenses on the same relationship.

"We are born in relationship, we are wounded in relationship, and we can be healed in relationship." — Harville Hendrix

THE THREE APPROACHES

A description of the approaches for couples therapy

A short brief on each — the kind of patterns it's best matched to, and what a session typically looks like.

Schema Therapy for Couples

When childhood patterns keep firing in adult love. We identify each partner's schemas, see how they collide, and learn to recognise and step out of the loop in real time. Full Schema for Couples page →

Emotionally Focused Therapy

Emotionally Focused Therapy, developed by Dr Sue Johnson. We slow down the recurring fight, find the more vulnerable feelings sitting under it, and help each partner reach for the other from that softer place. Sessions feel emotional and slow on purpose.

Gottman Method

Built from Drs John and Julie Gottman's forty years of research. Structured tools for healthy conflict, repair, friendship, and shared meaning. We diagnose what's actually happening between you, then teach the specific skills that move it.