The blogRefuge Psychology Blog
Mental health | Couples Therapy | Individual Relationship Support | Trauma & Abuse Recovery
When Choice Isn’t Really Choice: The Reality of Coercion
Coercion can appear in relationships, workplaces, churches, and faith communities through emotional pressure, manipulation, withholding, and spiritual abuse. This article explains the meaning of coercion, coercive control, and subtle threats, showing how they erode autonomy, trust, and wellbeing. Learn how coercion impacts intimacy, family, leadership, and religious settings, and discover strategies to recognise coercive behaviour, break unhealthy patterns, and seek safe, trauma-informed support
Understanding Control in Relationships: Insights from Our Latest Research
Why do some people use control in relationships? Research led by psychologist Kylie Walls (2024) links controlling behaviours to insecure attachment, emotion dysregulation, and shame. This article explores how anxious and avoidant attachment styles contribute to unhealthy dynamics and how therapies like EFT, DBT, and shame resilience work can foster emotional safety, healthier communication, and healing in couples. Includes Christian psychology support.
What Adult Grooming Is and how it overlaps with Coercive Control
Understand how grooming operates in adult, faith, and professional settings. A faith-sensitive psychologist explains the psychology of grooming across contexts, manipulation, power imbalance, and recovery after spiritual or relational betrayal.
Understanding Adult Clergy Exploitation: Understanding the Patterns of Betrayal and Abuse
Adult clergy sexual exploitation is not an ‘affair’ but a betrayal of trust, power, and spiritual authority. This article explains the stages of grooming in clergy sexual abuse, highlighting patterns of coercive control, manipulation, and boundary violations. Learn how grooming erodes autonomy, the profound psychological and spiritual impact on survivors, and why survivor-centred, trauma-informed responses are essential for healing, justice, and safer faith communities.
About KylieHi, I’m Kylie Walls, a registered psychologist and the founder of Refuge Psychology.
My practice is shaped by professional experience, research, and a long-standing commitment to supporting people navigating complex emotional, relational, and faith-related experiences. I have worked with individuals from a wide range of backgrounds and faith traditions, and I have also held volunteer and professional roles within church and ministry contexts. These experiences have deepened my understanding of the unique dynamics that can arise when wellbeing, identity, and faith intersect — and the importance of care that is both sensitive and clinically grounded.
I have published research on control, attachment, and emotional regulation, and have previously worked as a Domestic and Family Violence Advisor within a faith-based organisation. I began my career as a teacher and later spent time working in photography, but my ongoing interest in people — their stories, relationships, and inner worlds — led me into psychological practice. I bring both professional and lived experience to my work in a way that is clinically grounded, respectful, and client-led.
Areas of Interest
Areas of Special Interest
I offer support to adults who may be:
Managing general mental health concerns such as anxiety, depression, stress, grief, or life transitions — whether or not these are connected to faith or ministry.
Navigating confusing, painful, or high-pressure experiences in church or ministry environments, including those recovering from spiritual abuse, coercion, or high-control faith settings, including cults.
Pastors, ministry leaders, and caregivers experiencing stress, burnout, role strain, or relational challenges within ministry or leadership roles.
Experiencing domestic and family violence, coercive control, or destructive relationship patterns — whether in intimate partnerships, family, community, or faith-based contexts.
Experiencing scrupulosity / Religious OCD or distress related to rigid or fear-based beliefs.
Facing workplace challenges, including bullying, power imbalances, role strain, or organisational conflict, and the emotional toll these experiences can create.
Couples seeking support around communication, connection, conflict patterns, recovery after relational harm, infidelity, or navigating values and expectations within relationships.
Inclusive and Client-Led Care
While I have a particular interest in supporting people from faith backgrounds, I welcome clients from all backgrounds. My focus is on providing compassionate, trauma-informed, and ethical psychological care that honours each person’s values, experiences, and goals for wellbeing.
This is a collaborative space, shaped by your needs and values.
